Who Is In Your Village?

We’ve all heard the idiom that it “takes a village to raise a child.” After ten years of raising children, I tend to agree with that statement – but I also think the more substantive question remains: who is in your village? Because the choices we make about who we allow in our inner circle to help care for and educate our children send some fairly strong messages to our kids, and can also impact our future.

After school started back up, and we (like most families) were caught up in a whirlwind of activities, it dawned on me how many women were in my village – just the sheer number of women helping to raise and shape my children was staggering. There were the school teachers, the dance instructors (and dance studio owners), the music teacher (and music store owner), the religious education teacher, our babysitter – the list went on and on. And that’s not counting the army of mom friends who support us every day, from helping with school pick-ups when needed or providing information on that school trip permission slip I lost (again).

I know it would surprise many who know me to learn that I was taken aback by how many women were helping me educate and raise my children. I, like many in my generation, still struggle with the mainstream messages that men are in charge. While that fact and perception is thankfully changing, men still outnumber our women elected officials by over 70%, the percentage of Fortune 500 male CEOs in this country is a whopping 95%, and in 2013, women made $0.78 for every dollar their male peers made, despite increased efforts to secure equal pay for equal work. And yet, the people in my village – the ones preparing my and others’ children to be leaders of tomorrow – are women. Yup. There it is.

We may not have the power bestowed on elected officials and CEOs, or even the income of our male peers, but guess what? We have the distinct honor of raising the next generation, of shaping tomorrow’s leaders.

That means that everyone in my village has the potential to change those statistics above. As I watch my daughter in dance class, I think about how confident and graceful she is while mimicking her female teachers. As I listen to my son speak about a book he is discussing with his teacher, I think about how he is indirectly learning respect and admiration for women’s intellect. No, we may not always have the power and the income, but we women have something much more precious: the future of our children.

Of course, having male role models is just as important to our children. I know that. But with men seemingly in more positions of leadership and authority than women, it is critical that our children understand the role that so many women have played – and continue to play – in shaping their education and growth into adulthood. I look around at my village and I am so grateful for the many women who form this incredible network of support and encouragement.

Their roles are vital to my children’s academic and social development.

As my kids get older, I have become more selective about who is part of my village. Yes, these teachers and role models can have that much influence over our kids. And, with careful consideration, that can be a very good thing. It’s axiomatic that we moms all need assistance as we raise our children. And the choices we make about the people in our lives – the ones we trust with our children’s development – send a clear message to our children about gender, capability, and potential. So look around. Who’s in your village?

* This article originally appeared on The Mommy Vortex.