Cathedral Builders

When I was 13, I wrote in my diary that I was going to be elected to public office, write a New York Times best selling novel, be a college professor, have twins, and get my medical degree – all before I was 40.

I'm way past 40 . . . and guess what? I’m 0 for 5.

So, yeah, there are definitely days that I feel like I failed. Days that I feel as if I’ve veered off my path thereby making no difference in the world around me. Days that I go through the motions, doing boring work, believing that I’m not living my purpose. Days that I don’t even know what that purpose is, was, or should be.

One of those days – one of those selfish days bereft of purpose and meaning in my mind – my daughter unexpectedly said to me: I’m so glad I was in your belly and that you are my mom. You are the best gift God could have given me.

Stunned into emotional silence, I just smiled and hugged her. Oh, I should be grateful for this child. For these moments. Then the guilt sets in. The guilt for not always feeling gratitude, the guilt for feeling overwhelmed with kid stuff when other moms have lost their precious children, the guilt for always wanting to be more, to do more than make dinner and help with homework; the days that I want to heal the real or imagined childhood wounds of not being heard and not living my truth with some impactful, purposeful project.

And so I stand in front of my daughter and I look at her. Really look at her. She is my cathedral. She and my son. My best work.

There’s a beautiful story about how no one knows the cathedral builders or sees the work that goes into building the cathedral. The sweat, blood, and tears. The hard work, the sacrifice, over years and years. But those cathedrals . . . they stand tall for millennia. Strong and true, they continue shining their light and tolling their bells. People rarely remember who cut their hands and broke their bones actually building them. But generations stand in awe of these mighty structures, year after year.

You parents out there who struggle with what you thought your life would be versus what it is, hear this: you are cathedral builders. Every single day that you perform your tasks, from the mundane to the profound, you add another brick and another layer of mortar. Those tiny humans will stand strong as a beacon of hope and light because of your work and sacrifice.

Every day, from bus pickups to homework projects, to meals cooked and lunches packed, to scrapes kissed and hair brushed, to promotions denied and career paths changed, to drop-offs and pick-ups, to discussions about drugs and break-ups: you are building cathedrals that will stand the test of time.

I suspect some of us thought we’d be “making a difference” in a more public, more profound way. Others of us may have even pictured a different house, job, career, or family life. And some of us might have even thought we'd struggle less as parents. Maybe that’s due to what we were told, or childhood traumas of our own, or even goals we set for ourselves before life got in the way.

It doesn't matter.

Because it is the everyday people who do extraordinary things. It’s the “everyday” moms and dads who are increasing the frequency of this planet. Because if we do everything with love, with compassion, and with conviction, then we will be living a life of purpose (thanks for that, Eckhart Tolle).

Maybe you thought you’d have a life living those big dreams or with a different purpose. A life of more travel or freedom or joy or however you want to fill-in-that-blank. Whatever it is, remember this: wherever you are, whatever you are doing, you are making a difference for another human who will share those lessons and their light with the world – and future generations – tenfold. Tenfold.

You are making a difference Right. Where. You. Are.

So please keep building those cathedrals – not for the notoriety, the awards, the accolades, the status, the ego, or even for social media – but for the very real, very important reason that you are making a difference in another soul’s life.

You (yes, you) are increasing the light and raising the frequency of the entire planet just by being the best where you are. So shine on, even if you don’t think what you do matters. It does. You do.

Keep building. Because your cathedral is beautiful, and the world needs it right now.