The Bamboo: The Value of Bending So We Don't Break

The bamboo looks weak. It is tall, thin, and seemingly fragile. At first glance, it looks like it will break in half, even with the slightest wind.

Quite the opposite. Unlike the stiff, stronger-looking trees, the bamboo bends with the wind . . . and it does not break. It does not fight the wind, but moves with it, so even after a violent storm, the bamboo can bounce back.

Right now, we have to be the trees that bend, but do not break.

The storm blows all around us: in our world, in our country, in our hometowns. Most of us are under quarantine, together alone, trying desperately to protect the weaker among us and give our hospitals and healthcare workers a fighting chance. We all understand intellectually what it means to social distance and flatten the curve. But emotionally, we have sacrificed so much – so much – as a demonstration of unconditional love for people we know and some we may never even meet.

But it’s hard on all of us, in different ways. The storm is raging.

For the past few weeks, I watched my daughter wake up every day, in tears, overwhelmed with remote learning. She hated the online platform, hated getting all her assignments at once, hated sitting there for 6-8 hours a day figuring out concepts like Buddhism and percentages pretty much on her own. She missed her friends, her dance classes, her life.

But yet she showed up, every day. Every morning she tried again. She learned resilience, determination, flexibility, and compassion – for herself and for the greater good. She was able to bend, so she didn’t break.

I witnessed my son, a teen who actually adapted well to distance learning and enjoyed having more a control over his schedule, suffer a freak accident in the middle of the night, tripping over a tile saddle while getting a drink of water. The last place you want to be in the midst of a global pandemic is in an ER overrun with patients sick with a novel virus. But typical medical emergencies still happen, and a few panicked hours and several stitches later, he was home.

I waited for him to break with fear over possible exposure to the virus and missing his online classes and assignments. He didn’t; instead we emailed his teachers, followed disinfectant protocols, and continued taking natural supplements. Although still terrified, he was able to bend so he didn’t break.

I see my family and friends, day in and day out, checking on each other, their inner circles, their loved ones. We can’t hug or have dinner together, but we can text and video chat, do birthday drive-bys, and send funny memes or inspirational stories. We adapt, we pivot, and we bend. We refuse to break.

Right now, it’s hard. The storm continues to rage. We hear scary, upsetting, and just plain bad news every day. But we can make a decision how to assimilate all that negativity. It’s all around us, like torrential downpours and howling winds in the middle of the night that keep us awake and deprive us of much needed rest.

We can fight it, or we can let it wash over us, pass us by, as we bend toward the ground so that it does not break us in half. Like Maya Angelou said, every storm runs out of rain. We won’t be down forever.

So what can we do to bend with the wind?

First, accepting things for what they are rather than what we expected them to be is helpful. Going with the flow, however difficult, helps us to stop fighting against the disappointment and expectation of what we wanted or believed should be, versus what we actually have, at least right now. Being flexible is the most precious gift we can offer ourselves in this moment.

The bamboo adapts, temporarily, so that it can survive.

Second, having deep, authentic compassion for ourselves, our families, and our global communities can help exponentially. There is no right way to feel right now. There is no perfect way to live each day. Feel like organizing your house? Have at it. Want to chill on the couch all day? Go for it. Want to cry because you are sick, have a sick family member, lost your job, or are a healthcare hero or essential employee who is at their breaking point? Cry, and know so many of us cry and pray with you.

The wind does not tell the bamboo which way to bend to survive.

Third, remember that you will bounce back. We all will. Even under the heavy snow, the bamboo will spring back up when the snow begins to melt. It bears the heavy burden of snow, but it snaps back, as if to say, I will not be defeated.

There are days when we will be crushed under the heavy burden of this global pandemic. But we will have the ability to spring back, even if the world around us looks different when we do.

When any storm is over, the landscape changes. Even the bamboo may not return to its exact original position. But it will not remain on the ground. It will stand up again, facing the sun. And so will we.

The storm rages on. It's hard not to resist. But if we choose to be more like the trees that bend, then ultimately, we will not break.

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"The bamboo that bends is stronger than the mighty oak that resists" - Japanese Proverb