What Distance Learning Really Taught Us

The last days of school are approaching. For many of us, though, the last day of school is frozen in time, somewhere back in March. The classrooms have remained dark, with wall calendars still turned to March 2020, when Covid-19 crept into our lives. Empty hallways, desks, and cafeterias have remained quiet, patiently waiting for life to be injected back into the eerie silence.

Distance learning and social distancing became the terms our school-aged kids got familiar with over the past 100 or so days. They spent a lot more time on devices than any of us parents really felt comfortable with; devices that became both a lifeline and an albatross. Many educators and parents fear that these kids are now behind, having lost critical in-person instruction and services for months. I will leave it to the professionals to ascertain where we go from here, academically and socially.

As a parent, however, I can unequivocally say that my kids learned some pretty important lessons during this unprecedented time. They may or may not have academic shortcomings, but wow have they grown in other ways.

My kids learned how important it is to have physical interaction with their friends and teachers. They looked forward to online instruction just to see and interact with their classmates and teachers. Never again, I venture to guess, will they tell me they don’t want to go to school. Being physically part of a community is a gift that I don’t think these kids will ever take for granted again.

My kids learned the value of compassion. They watched friends and family members get sick, lose loved ones and jobs, struggle to put food on the table, work until exhaustion, and battle with isolation. Suddenly, my pre-teen and teen saw the world from a larger perspective, instead of through their once age-appropriate myopic, ego-driven lens. They began to understand the importance of their role as a global citizen in a larger community, and saw how their actions could impact the world at large.

My kids learned resiliency. They got up each day in this strange new normal and did their best, even when the really didn’t want to. They struggled through hard lessons and technology glitches and so many disappointments. They tried hard, every day, even if that meant just getting dressed. I’d like to think that, as adults, this generation of students will have grit and determination to spare.

My kids learned not to take anything for granted. They learned a new appreciation for the arts when dance and band suddenly changed to online meetings, and they learned how valuable our coaches and sports programs are to our physical and mental health. They began to appreciate nature more, taking respite in walks and bike rides and the fresh air.

My kids learned rituals are important. Proms, graduations, recitals, concerts, and religious ceremonies are all rights of passage that connect us as one human community. They learned that even important things may get canceled or postponed, and that some disappointments cannot be fixed . . . but that there are other ways to meaningfully connect with each other, if the intent and desire to do so is authentic and pure.

Together, we learned patience. All of us working and learning in the same space, sharing WiFi and devices. Eating together, crying together, laughing and dancing off the stress together, and giving each other space when necessary. We all learned how to lift each other up when someone needed it. This time was a roller coaster punctuated by more moments of deep sadness than laughter. It was hard. We respect each other more now as individuals than we did before.

Together, we learned how very much the teachers truly love their students – and moreover – how the teachers love to watch their students learn. This was ripped from our teachers in an instant. And without any warning, they adapted their lessons to this new online medium. My kids learned that their teachers were real people, with kids, and pets, and genuine feelings. We heard the teachers’ emotional voices as they spoke to “their kids” in online meeting rooms, drove by their students' homes with gifts and diplomas, and emailed us parents checking in on our well-being. I think everyone finally understands that teachers are the true unsung heroes in our communities who form the building blocks of our future.

Most of all, though, my kids learned gratitude. Real, authentic gratitude: for the food on the table, for their health, for the privilege of receiving an education, for our medical community, and even for the technology that connected us when we were physically apart. They learned that life can change in a moment, but that there are blessings to be found everywhere, even in the darkest times. They learned to say thank you for so many things, and truly mean it.

I don’t know where we go from here or what the long-term mental health effects will be on this generation. I don’t know what the new school year will look like. But I do know that our kids will start the next school year as different people – ones that have learned so much more than science and math, and who have grown way beyond their years. We have asked so much of them in such a short time, and I pray they will, one day, be better people for the lessons they learned and for having lived through this experience.